Ok.. so I'm sitting here tonight.. thoughts of writing a blog engrossing me but what to write about is something that is still boggling me.. is it going to be the topic I generally end up with so many times.. love? I guess the answer to that is.. yes. (Ok people don't run away..or maybe you can.)
I have had some experiences.. or can I really call them experiences.. well but love is something which has always confused me. I guess I'm just plain scared to take the chance. People say that it is strange that I've never been in a relationship (funny, it seems, with all the gossip that must have done the rounds about me.. I dunno how many times). But the strange bit is that I've never gone beyond friendship (although might have tried to fool myself a lot of times..) Never have I let myself be really serious, perhaps maybe just the one time (I guess that was also more of the immaturity rather than the true feeling).
So frankly speaking, I don't think I know the feeling called love or do I? Its ironical that I believe very strongly in a love marriage (I'm scared of the whole concept of an arranged one) but I still don't have anyone in my life. Maybe by keeping myself from falling to the depths of the feeling called love, I'm keeping myself from hurt and pain. But this is not going to work.
This time, I've promised myself.. I will make an honest attempt and a positive one at that. Although I know that perhaps nothing positive will come out of this, but this time I'll let myself take the chance.. or at least force myself to. Dangerous signs... "Yes, I like you. I would love to be with you always.. through thicks and thins. Only that perhaps this is never going to happen."
Oh!! the dreams of that one man, that one day, that one moment, that one long-needed hug and that one lingering kiss... the one that will make me feel love for the first time... and the wait.