Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Why is it..

Why is it?

Why is it that whenever I think,
I'm scared if the subject is me?

Why is it that even with so many people,
I never see anyone who'll be my support?

Why is it that even with all the glaring lights
I stand here lost like a person blind?

Why is it that seeing the rainbow,
The only colour I see is black?

Why is it that when the winds brush past me,
All that encompasses me is vacuum?

Why is it that even my friends and family,
I find them as good as strangers to me?

Why is it that even in all of my independence,
I still see a deep dependence on something?

Why is it that in spite of all this depressive thinking,
I'm always there, smiling, enjoying and looking at the good things?

Perhaps because I don't think about myself...
And thats how I deal with it..

The 'One'

Here's another one from the stable of 'love'.. Sorry people.. but it just seems that I'm too full of this feeling today.. need to get some of it out.. so taking it out on all of you.. :D

Well, there is the strange story.. There was me, who was keeping happily to herself, until there came this guy in her way.. This guy whom she wouldn't have let herself cross paths with, had it not been for other forces (real ones.. not the filmy types though.. but can't give details). So there was the guy and they crossed paths. And as it had to happen, she liked him. She had not let herself really 'feel' for a long time. Not let herself go. But this time, she does try... and tries her best at that. She tries not to think about it but just go with the flow. But the guy is almost everything she could have asked for. Obviously not 'everything' (nobody is perfect), but the other stuff is not that important. And she just kinda goes with the flow and starts falling for the guy.. the 'One'.

She thinks to herself that she should stop.. perhaps this will never happen (that has been her state of mind for as long as she remembers.. 'why?'.. she has never tried to figure out). But then she decides, maybe she should take the plunge. Let herself be vulnerable to what is called the 'heartache' and what might become the 'heartbreak'. She fears that if she speaks her mind, it might ruin everything, but then this time around.. she might just do it.. just for the heck of it.. just for being completely tired of waiting and thinking before doing anything..

But the 'One' doesn't understand the subtle hints of the woman, the scared little person that she is (very unlike her general attitude).. What if he takes everything that she has done in the wrong sense? What if everything that she treasures now goes to waste? Is it deep enough to commit herself or should she just stay at liking? (I think this one should be to stay at liking and let it develop from there).
Well anyways, those are the thoughts that are going on in her mind. But she promises herself.. she won't think too much.. and let whatever has to happen, happen. Try her best to go with the heart rather than the mind. Let her heart take the chance. And hope that the 'One' understands and something good comes out of it.. for a change.

The feeling called love..

Ok.. so I'm sitting here tonight.. thoughts of writing a blog engrossing me but what to write about is something that is still boggling me.. is it going to be the topic I generally end up with so many times.. love? I guess the answer to that is.. yes. (Ok people don't run away..or maybe you can.)

I have had some experiences.. or can I really call them experiences.. well but love is something which has always confused me. I guess I'm just plain scared to take the chance. People say that it is strange that I've never been in a relationship (funny, it seems, with all the gossip that must have done the rounds about me.. I dunno how many times). But the strange bit is that I've never gone beyond friendship (although might have tried to fool myself a lot of times..) Never have I let myself be really serious, perhaps maybe just the one time (I guess that was also more of the immaturity rather than the true feeling).
So frankly speaking, I don't think I know the feeling called love or do I? Its ironical that I believe very strongly in a love marriage (I'm scared of the whole concept of an arranged one) but I still don't have anyone in my life. Maybe by keeping myself from falling to the depths of the feeling called love, I'm keeping myself from hurt and pain. But this is not going to work.
This time, I've promised myself.. I will make an honest attempt and a positive one at that. Although I know that perhaps nothing positive will come out of this, but this time I'll let myself take the chance.. or at least force myself to. Dangerous signs... "Yes, I like you. I would love to be with you always.. through thicks and thins. Only that perhaps this is never going to happen."

Oh!! the dreams of that one man, that one day, that one moment, that one long-needed hug and that one lingering kiss... the one that will make me feel love for the first time... and the wait.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Homo Sapien

People.. this is one thing one can never stop being amazed by. It is said that no two persons are the same. Think about it this way. The population of the world's growing. So each time there's a birth, a new person comes into existence. How many kinds of permutations and combinations are possible in a human being which has resulted in so many people on this earth.. no two of whom are exactly the same.

First you are in your house, and you try and understand the differences in the people around you. Then the scope increases to your locality, your school and your playgroup. Then as you grow older, it further increases to your college, the place where you work and other social or professional networks. At each step, your area of exposure increases. Home, city, State, Country... At some point you think.. this is the point where I guess I have seen enough to assimilate all that comes my way.. and then suddenly, there is another experience with some other person, maybe from the same country or a different, same background or different, maybe even from the same house or the same time.. An experience which would unsettle you completely.

Its amazing to see.. if it is God or Science or DNA.. whatever you believe to be the origin of the human race.. so many differences and yet somehow each human being is equipped with all that is needed to adjust to each of the various permutation and combination which results into a new person and a new experience. So different we are, yet this one thing is so strongly common amongst us all.

Marvel.. the creation called the 'Homo Sapien'

So different.. yet so alike

The sun's going down again on another one of the days
The yellow turns to orange and the orange to red
There.. I see the red and blue coming together.
Amazing isn't it, like it is forever.

How the colours come together
And still stay what they are.
Just like two different people coming together
Each of them while being one and merged
still have their own shades intact

The things in this world, I wonder
So different yet so alike

The sea and the shore is also the same
So is the horizon

Everything in this world..
So different yet so alike